The Jets Kvetch

Simulating the Jets’ Season…With Tecmo Bowl

Using computers to simulate real-world events is no new phenomenon. In fact, those kind of calculations are pretty much the reason computers exist in the first place. Due to the prevalence of complex, highly realistic sports video games, fans have it particularly good in this department. Any old dude with an Xbox and an internet connection can run a single-trial simulation for their favorite team. Throw in a masters in statistics, and pretty soon you're running multiple variance calculations and...chi square...stuff...with isosceles triangles and shit. Hey, don't look at me. I'm no Nate Silver, I'm just the guy who funnels all his knowledge of statistics into hastily made faux hip-hop videos. True to my bare bones understanding of probability tests, I opted to utilize the most bare bones football video game available to test the outcome of the 2010 Jets season. No, not the NFL 2K series, not NFL Blitz 96, not even Tecmo Super Bowl on Super Nintendo. Nope, I decided to use regular old Tecmo Bowl on the regular old Nintendo Entertainment System. This 8-Bit wonder was always a treasured favorite as a child, and now, updated to contain 32 teams and (almost) current NFL rosters, it provides us with the surest evidence yet that the Jets are Super Bowl bound. Stop yourself right there. Are you going to argue with a computer?

Simulating the Jets’ Season…With Tecmo Bowl is a post from: The Jets Kvetch, the world's #1 NY Jets fan site!

Darrelle Revis, Jets Come to Terms. He’s Back.

Go celebrate.

Darrelle Revis, Jets Come to Terms. He’s Back. is a post from: The Jets Kvetch, the world's #1 NY Jets fan site!

Jets, Revis Possibly Arriving at a Deal?

Three posts in one day? We're in uncharted territory now for sure, but then, we are beginning to transition to regular season mode. And, really, what news could be more worthy of a third post than a potential agreement between Darrelle Revis and the Jets? First word broke that Rex and Revis met personally in Florida this weekend, already a good sign. Rex is better suited to appeal to Revis's humanity than cold, number crunching Mike Tannenbaum, whose constant 1,000 yard expression on Hard Knocks has really begun to freak me out. Next "Incarcerated Bob" from the Boomer & Carton show on WFAN reported that a deal had been completed, or would be completed tonight, and that a press conference was planned for Thursday. Why should we believe Bob, whose constant asteriked tweets and accusations that "ESPN frauds" had stolen his scoop have demeaned his already low credibility? We shouldn't, but it's still movement. Just as I was ready to write this off as another wild Cowlishaw chase, the real kicker came. Carity Washington, the Gorgonesque, Jets hating bitch of the world, shattered all preconceptions when she tweeted "Jets fans will be VERY happy soon!" It is important to note that Leon and Darrelle remain close friends, and that Charity knocked down the story of Revis and the Jets meeting back on the Tuesday of Cowlishaw week. Of course, she's not an official news source, but I find it difficult to believe that all these things, including a tweet from Revis best friend and manager John Geiger that he was "getting on a plane," could happen the weekend before the season begins (pretty much our last shot), and it not reflect something huge stirring.

Jets, Revis Possibly Arriving at a Deal? is a post from: The Jets Kvetch, the world's #1 NY Jets fan site!

T-Rich Terminated, But He’ll Be Back

I said just a few days ago that I would not worry about the Jets' self-professed leadership void unless the team did something really, really stupid, like cutting Tony Richardson. I don't even know why I have to continue. You know they did it. You know they freaking did it. They cut one of the greatest fullbacks who ever lived. Now before any of you jump on me, yes, I am more than aware of T-Rich's advanced age, and of his declining blocking. I know that John Conner, much like his time traveling nicknamesake, is the future, but in an offseason where this team said goodbye to a huge number of productive leaders (I am tired of writing the ever-expanding list over and over again...the names should be burned into your skull by now), everything about this decision should rub fans the wrong way. It used to be in this league that rookies would compete with veterans for their jobs, not the other way around. That if you had contributed to a team and to the game of football in general for a long time, that you were assured certain things. As Rex himself said on Hard Knocks, Tony had earned this roster spot. It wasn't his to lose or Conner's to win, it was just his. All the man wanted was a final lap around the track, and maybe to pick up some new jewelry along the way. In the process, he could further mentor Conner and help guide all the members of this young offense. It's not right to deny him that role, nor the money owed to him.

T-Rich Terminated, But He’ll Be Back is a post from: The Jets Kvetch, the world's #1 NY Jets fan site!

The Fandex: A Weekly Fan Power Ranking

Welcome to the first day of the Jets Kvetch ExFanstravaganza! For those not in the know, this is the first in a daily series of posts previewing the new NFL year in the lead-up to the Jets-Ravens Monday Night Football game. Today I'll be conducting the first of my new weekly power rankings. However, these rankings, unlike those ubiquitous ones seen everywhere from ESPN to Fox Sports to Bleacher Report, measures not the strength or weakness of each individual franchise, but the satisfaction of its fans. There are a number of factors that go into such a calculation, and while the old adage "Winning cures everything" is mostly true, I think you'll find that mere wins and losses are not always the best predictors of fan happiness. For instance, the Lionss may be a trainwreck, but they're a slowly improving trainwreck, so if by Week 3 they have one good win and, say, the Chargers start 1-2, one would imagine Lions fans, who entered the year with low expectations, would be feeling better about themselves than would a San Diego fan, who has their eyes set on the Super Bowl. In a sense, I guess you could think of this as something of a glour ranking. Ho ho! Here's how to read the Fandex: each fanbase is given a score between 0 and 100, a 100 representing the pure, orgasmic bliss that only a world championship can bring, and a 0 being, well, a 0 means you're probably a Browns fan. In addition to the score, each team will be assigned a themed characteristic that I think best matches the personality of their organization. For instance, this week I have assigned each group a favored drink. Play along in the comments if you like. All that having been said, let us now commence the first ever Fandex!

The Fandex: A Weekly Fan Power Ranking is a post from: The Jets Kvetch, the world's #1 NY Jets fan site!