Postponed until the last possible day, the June podcast is at last upon us, and I must say that this is the very best one yet! (Although this isn’t saying much). In today’s edition, our boys discuss the extremely unlikely possibility of the Jets signing JaMarcus Russell, and, in a larger sense, the question of who will be and who should be Mark Sanchez’s backup this season. We also have a look at the newly released Madden 11 player ratings, and have a go at who is overrated, underrated, and, in the sad case of Vernon Gholston, who just plain makes us irate. Finally, we step outside the NFL to explore the LeBron James free agency panic that will consume our sports news for the next couple of weeks. Could he be joining his old buddy Braylon Edwards in the City That Never Sleeps?

All this and more, including an illuminating interview with a three year old girl, on the latest Jets Kvetch Podcast, With Max and Ari in the Morning!

Rex Ryan has been the coach of the New York Jets for little more than a year now, hardly enough time even for the little particles of food in his gravitational pull to complete a full revolution around his waistline, and already an autobiography appears to be in the works. Premature? Perhaps, but when you consider the proximity of the book’s release date to next year’s Super Bowl…well, it’s not necessarily a bad marketing idea. The book, called a “nontraditional” autobiography, as though anything about Rex Ryan is traditional, will be produced via a partnership with former Sports Illustrated editor and current motivational speaker Don Yaeger, who tweeted the news early yesterday afternoon. It is already being called 2011′s biggest beach read, and a spiritual successor to Moby Dick, if only because it too centers around a mad pursuit of glory and a white whale.

Personally, I don’t think it’s too soon for Rex’s book at all. The man is more than a football coach, he’s a sports sensation, and I’d rather read a single chapter about the Ryan family vacation to Disneyland than an entire book of Bill Walsh’s inspirational anecdotes about life and leadership. He’s already due to become a reality TV star next month, when Hard Knocks changes its format to become HBO’s “Rex Ryan Variety Hour,” so conquering the printed word is a logical next step. But where to go from there? If “REX: Story of a Man” is a big enough success, isn’t a film adaptation bound to follow? Couldn’t you just imagine it? After hundreds of bland and hackneyed sports flicks about overcoming adversity and winning as an underdog, we’d at last get a film about kicking people’s faces in and get sloshed afterward.

There are exactly 78 days remaining until the Jets crack open their season at home on Monday Night Football against the Ravens. A tough game to be sure, and one that every Jets fan ought to place special emphasis on. We do not want to lose that game. No, not because it marks our debut at New Meadowlands Stadium, or because we badly want for Rex to tear down his old team, although those two plotlines do sweeten the pot a bit, but rather because we almost sort of have to. After all the talking, all the bravado and letting the world know of our unshakable conviction that THIS. IS. THE. YEAR. we can not afford to blow it in the very first game under favorable conditions against a fellow contender. It’s very easy for us right now to say that pressure won’t be a factor. The weight of our Super Bowl expectations isn’t likely to pull anyone down during OTAs or Training Camp, but once the regular season begins, and fans come to realize just how difficult it will be, even for a team as great as ours, to return to even the conference championship game, well, we may just drown in it.

You have not read incorrectly. The Farkification of the Jets Kvetch has begun in the form of our very first Photoshop contest. Now, I understand that many of you reading this may not know how to use Photoshop. You may not even have access to Photoshop. This is not an excuse for not entering. I would like every single person who reads this to at least give it their best shot. I’ll post every submission I receive, so as long as it’s funny, even if not well made, you’ll at least be able to score a laugh or two.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it (which you damn well better) is to make a mockery of Braylon Edwards’ new chin carpet. First seen at his charity function at the University of Michigan, word of Braylon’s new beard has slowly been making the rounds in Jets fan circles, where it has been alternatively compared to those of 300′s King Leonidas and former UFC fighter Kimbo Slice. Truly, even I could not ignore such a magnanimous display of the Mighty Man Mane. So provided for you below are two images that you may use at your leisure to create your masterwork. If you are able to find other, better images of Bearded Braylon, you are permitted to use them as well.

In most lines of work, a man like Rex Ryan wouldn’t get very far. Comically overweight and intense to the point of caricature, he virtually seethes with emotion, sobbing after big losses and swearing up a storm when the team does what it does best. He’s cocky, stubborn, confrontational and maybe even unhinged, the loudmouthed defensive prodigy a pole away from the tightlipped Bill Belichick and the “quietly strong” Tony Dungy. In his aggression and uncouth nature, we see the inverse of almost every quality our parents sought to imbue in us. Socialization has failed this man; he has chosen to live outside of simple human etiquette, ignorant of five millenia of basic customs and norms. Considering that of our previous two coaches, the first was a Dungy clone with the demeanor of an overly polite choir boy, and the second was a Baby Belichick who considered minor knee injuries to be confidential information, Rex hasn’t just changed the culture in Florham Park, he’s imploded it with 75 tons of C4 and taken a dump all over the ashes.
Rex Ryan is our competitive edge. His coaching gives our players the skills they need to win…his attitude makes them winners. He doesn’t believe in being second best, or earning moral victories. None of that “It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose” junk. WINNING IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS, AND YOU MEN ARE WINNERS. He’s like a hefty, bipedal Courage Wolf, a super-ego to-go, always looking ahead to the glory of the next victory. I don’t blame outsiders for hating him, but I don’t understand it either. Rex is the solution to the “No Fun League” you always complain about, a coach finally willing to speak his mind, and not just regurgitate press releases in front of a camera. He’s our Ozzie Guillen and Mark Cuban, only a thousand times better, and moreover, he’s one of the finest coaches in this league.